marijuana detox
How to Pass a Urine Drug Test - The Basic Methods Explained
Posted by at 11th September, 2008
How to pass a urine drug test is addressed here. (Follow this link for information on how to pass a saliva drug test.) There are several different ways you can pass a urine test, and I’ll give you the pros and cons of each. I should tell you up front that I’m a big advocate of dilution, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be objective about the other ways too. Depending on your situation, it’s possible that a different method would actually be better for you. I’ll just lay out how to pass a urine drug test using each one, and you can decide for yourself.
First of all, how to pass a drug test can be broken down into four basic methods:
1) Detox products
2) Dilution
3) Synthetic urine or substitution
4) Natural detox
How to Pass a Urine Drug Test Using Detox Products
There are so many different detox products on the market for passing a drug test that it boggles the mind. But they can basically be broken down into two categories: detox kits and detox drinks.
A detox kit is how to pass a urine drug test only if you have some time before your test. Most companies selling these products advertise anywhere from 10 days to 30 days for the product to work. But if you’re a pretty light smoker and you have 30 days notice, then you’ll definitely be clean by the time you take your test anyway, so you should just save your money. On the other hand, if you’re a heavy smoker and you only have 10 days to plan, then a detox kit definitely won’t work for you in time.
On the other hand, if you have very little advance notice, then a detox drink can be a good method for how to pass a urine drug test in a hurry. The people who have the most success in passing a drug test with them are light to moderate smokers. Detox drinks are really just a convenient way to use the dilution method (see below). The drink itself contains ingredients to help mask the fact that you’re diluting, and the instructions that come with them tell you to drink lots of water along with the product. However, they’re not among the best ways to pass a drug test if you’re a heavy smoker, or if you happen to be overweight. For one thing, the amount of water that they recommend you drink is usually much too low for those situations. Also, some of them tell you that you’re safe for passing a drug test for up to 5 hours after you drink the product. You should NEVER take a detox drink that far ahead of your test - 1 to 2 hours before your test time is safest.
How to Pass a Urine Drug Test Using The Dilution Method
As I’ve already pointed out above, I’m partial to dilution when it comes to how to pass a drug test. Mainly because it can be adjusted to work for anyone, whether you’re a light smoker or a heavy smoker. If you’re a light to moderate smoker you might prefer the convenience of just going to a store and buying a detox drink. But for heavy smokers, your safest bet is to do it the old-fashioned way so that you can control the process.
Dilution is a very effective and affordable method for passing a drug test. The way it works is pretty simple - you just need to drink enough fluids so that your kidneys are overloaded to the point that your urine is completely diluted. When that happens, then there aren’t enough THC metabolites (or much of anything else one usually finds in urine, for that matter) present in your urine for it to register on a test.
Contrary to the misinformation that gets passed around, there is NO need to load up on extra water before the day of your test. Drinking lots of water everyday is good for many different health reasons, but that’s not how to pass a urine drug test. What you need to do is drink enough water in a short time span (2-3 hours) so that your urine is as dilute as possible.
Diluted urine is very clear, and not the normal yellow color it’s supposed to be. This is a red flag to drug testing labs, so you’ve got to take a few steps to make it appear normal. Taking between 50-100mg of a B-complex vitamin (specifically B-2) about an hour before your test will make your urine appear yellow again. You also want to make sure that your urine contains normal levels of a substance called creatinine. You can accomplish this by eating lots of red meat in the few days prior to your test, or else buy a supplement called ‘creatine monohydrate’ in just about any health store.
If you really want to make sure you know how to pass a urine drug test using the dilution method, I highly recommend buying drug test strips and doing a trial run before your real test. You can get the strips in major pharmacies (Wal-Mart is probably cheapest, if there’s one in your area) and sometimes in smoke shops, but they tend to be expensive there. If your recreational drug use is limited to pot, then you’ll save money by getting single-panel strips and not the 5-panel strips. If you have time to plan, the cheapest place I’ve found them on the Internet is on this website.
How to Pass a Urine Drug Test Using Substitution or Synthetic Urine
Substitution was one of the earliest ways to pass a drug test used by pot smokers. All you have to do is ask a friend for some of their (clean) pee, and then smuggle it into the lab. Sounds simple in theory, but it can be very risky since lab technicians will monitor you to try and prevent you doing this.
Just smuggling your sample into the lab is only part of passing a drug test this way. You also need to somehow keep it at body temperature, since that’s one of the first tests a lab will do. Cold pee = failed test, game over. But you can keep the sample at body temperature by securing it to the inside of your upper thigh, and you can even find devices on the Internet that are designed to do this. Since a lab technician is usually close by to monitor you, you also want to make certain that the container you use doesn’t make any noise when you open it (no rubber bands or tape, etc.).
Using synthetic urine works the same as substitution, except that instead of using a friend’s pee, you’ll be smuggling in the synthetic pee. It can come in powder form (which you’ll have to mix with water) or in liquid (pre-mixed) form. Labs have tests they run to try to detect synthetic urine, but the companies who make it are constantly working at staying one step ahead of them. If you’re successful at the smuggling part, then the odds are high that the synthetic urine will pass.
Depending on the circumstances at the lab you’re going to, both substitution and using synthetic urine are among the riskiest ways to pass a drug test for most people. If you’re caught, any false positive arguments go out the window and you won’t get a chance for a re-take. So knowing how to pass a urine drug test this way definitely requires that you have some advance knowledge about how closely you’ll be monitored by a lab technician.
How to Pass a Urine Drug Test by Naturally Detoxing
If you know you’re going to be needing to take a drug test in the future, for example if you’re going to be looking for a new job, of course you can always just stop smoking altogether and wait until THC metabolites have left your body through natural means. A serious workout regimen to lose weight will hurry the process a little, but this method is only how to pass a urine drug test if you’ve got plenty of time and you don’t mind giving up mary jane for an extended period. Both of those complications makes this one of the hardest ways to pass a drug test for most folks.
If you’re an average weight person who is a very light pot smoker (maybe a bowl once a month), then you’ll be clean in just a matter of days, like maybe a week. If you’re a once daily moderate smoker, give yourself a month to get clean. And if you’re a heavy smoker (several times daily), or if you’re overweight, then passing a drug test by naturally detoxing will generally be around six to eight weeks. The faster your metabolism is and the less body fat you have, the faster you’ll get clean.
Final Word of Advice on How to Pass a Urine Drug Test
Regardless of what method you choose to use, how to pass a drug test consists of knowing exactly what you’re going to do when you walk into the lab. This is one situation when the saying “knowledge is power” is especially true. People pass drug tests EVERY DAY, and there’s no reason why you can’t too if you take the time to do your homework beforehand. And one big benefit of being prepared is that it removes a huge amount of stress from the entire issue of how to pass a urine drug test.
Tips In Passing A Drug Test
Posted by at 29th May, 2008
Tips in passing a drug test are everywhere on the Internet, but unfortunately most of them are written by someone wanting to sell you detox products. Did you know that virtually all drugs besides marijuana are out of your system within just a few days? Yep. Only weed has such a long detection time, so that’s the reason why smokers need realistic tips in passing a drug test more than anyone.
Anyway, someone who bought my e-book recently is - get this - a lab supervisor who actually used to oversee drug testing. He’s a smoker who had to take a drug test himself for a job offer at another lab. Talk about ironic. So I thought to myself, who better to ask for tips in passing a drug test from?? He was open to the idea of letting me interview him via chat, so that I could post it on my blog. It turned out to be pretty long, so I decided to post it in two parts. You can read the rest of this interview at Tips in Passing a Drug Test - Part II.
DEE: Hi John, thanks for agreeing to do this interview. Knowing your background as a lab supervisor, I hope it doesn’t make you uncomfortable but I have to ask - as a smoker yourself, how can you square that with being in charge of drug testing? Most smokers don’t even get high at work, so testing is a serious invasion of privacy that can have a real negative impact on someone’s life.
JOHN: Well you get right to the point don’t you, lol. That’s a fair question and I knew you would probably ask me something like that. It’s a real sore spot for me, because of course I thought about that, on almost a daily basis in fact. I wasn’t directly involved with administering drug tests but I was in charge of the procedure, you’re right. But the bulk of the lab work we did was medical analysis for hospitals and clinics and the drug testing came later after I’d worked there for almost 2 years. Just on principle I would have liked to have quit immediately, but I had a family to consider so it was complicated. I continued working there for another 18 months or so, and it’s a huge relief to me now to finally be working at another lab that doesn’t perform drug testing. So, when you asked me to share some tips in passing a drug test for your readers, I guess I saw it as an opportunity to kind of balance my karma a little.
DEE: Thanks for your honest answer, John, and I’m really glad for your sake that you don’t work there anymore! But that brings me to my next obvious question - as a lab supervisor, I would’ve thought you’d know everything there is to know about how to pass a drug test. So when you needed to pass a urine drug test for your position at the lab where you’re working now, why did you need to get my e-book? I’ve been curious about this ever since you told me about what you do.
JOHN: Good question. Well it’s like this: part of my former job as lab supervisor was to keep up on the literature about current drug testing procedures, and to monitor information about known methods that people use in their attempts to get a false negative on a urine test. So yes, I knew I had all the information I needed to pass a drug test. But to be perfectly honest, I was also just as nervous as anyone else is who is facing a drug test. If for some reason I didn’t pass, it would have seriously damaged my reputation in the industry. So I suppose just as a way to reassure myself that I hadn’t missed anything I was looking on the Internet when I came across your e-book. It intrigued me because it was obvious to me that you had a grasp of the mechanics of hiding dilution, and I suppose I was curious about what you recommended to people.
DEE: So does that mean you agree with the entire premise of my e-book, that dilution is the best way to pass a urine drug test for marijuana?
JOHN: Oh yes, most definitely. It isn’t just the best way, it’s actually the only way. You have pretty good researching skills, and you got that part exactly right.
DEE: Thank you! But there are a lot of tips in passing a drug test out there that don’t even mention dilution, so could you explain, in layman’s terms, why it works so well for passing a urine test?
JOHN: Sure. Well, as I believe you state in your book THC is fat soluble and its metabolites are mainly excreted through the urine. THC metabolites will eventually be eliminated from fat cells over time of course, but since it isn’t possible to eliminate the fat cells themselves quickly, what a person can do is to dilute their urine output so that it has a much lower concentration of these metabolites.
Think of it like this: The human body can only contain so much water, and no more. If a person continues to drink fluids past the point at which the body is well hydrated, then the kidneys attempt to regulate the hydration level. To do that, they begin to pull water from other areas of the body in order to eliminate fluids via urination, to balance the excess fluids being taken in. Without this regulation process, along with frequent urination, water poisoning would occur (which can be fatal). So when a person drinks a large volume of water to pass a drug test, they are not actually increasing the efficiency of the kidneys. What they’re doing is simply increasing the amount of water in their urine, and thus decreasing the concentration of THC metabolites present.
I think it’s important for someone to understand this distinction. With dilution, THC metabolites aren’t actually eliminated from the body (only time or extremely rapid weight loss could accomplish that) but they are simply less concentrated in the urine. But as you know, the dilution process lowers the concentration of every other element that’s normally present in urine, which is how a test lab can identify when someone is actively trying to pass a drug test.
Read part two of this interview at Tips in Passing a Drug Test - Part II.
How To Pass A Urine Test
Posted by at 29th May, 2008
How to pass a urine test is pretty straightforward, but I’m constantly amazed by all the false information that’s out there being passed around. But if you’re feeling desperate about finding a way to pass a drug test, I can understand why you might be tempted to go with something that ’sounds good.’ And especially if this is your first time being tested, it can be really hard to tell the good info about how to pass a urine test from the bad.
Sometimes I feel like a preacher or something, I swear. But instead of getting up on a pulpit to spew about fire and brimstone and the wages of sin, I’m always up on my soapbox trying to get through to people that dilution is the only way they’re going to pass a urine test. And instead of fighting the devil, my nemesis is a mountain of misinformation.
What about you? Have you heard about dilution and then just dismissed it as yet another weird theory about how to pass a urine test? Well, before you write it off, think about this: you know those detox drinks you can buy? That’s exactly how they work. Dilution, plain and simple. Yes, I KNOW they claim to ‘cleanse’ your system, blah, blah, blah. I hate to be the one to tell you that there’s no Santa Claus, but… there’s no Santa Claus. It’s all just smoke and mirrors.
When you read the directions on any detox drink that’s out there, they all tell you to drink lots of water before drinking the ’secret potion.’ The reason why is because those companies at least have enough sense to know the truth - that dilution is the only way to pass a urine test in a hurry. But a good sales pitch can make common dirt sound like the answer to your prayers, so they have to make you believe that their products have the BIG GUNS that can miraculously wash THC out of your system so that you’ll get out your wallet. When the reality is that it’s the water you drink that ‘washes’ the THC out of your system.
The thing I probably get asked about the most is Sure-Jell, or Certo (same thing). Of all the home remedies out there about how to pass a drug test I think this is one of the most dangerous, because it actually does appear to work sometimes. But you know what? Whenever I’ve talked to people that passed with Sure-Jell, every single person has told me that they also diluted. But most of the people I’ve talked to who’ve used Sure-Jell before didn’t pass, either because they didn’t dilute at all, or because they diluted too much and the testing lab failed them for it. If you’re thinking about using this method because someone you know passed with it, ask them to tell you exactly what steps they used. I bet you discover the same thing I did.
Another theory about how to pass a urine test that you’ve probably read about is taking huge amounts of niacin - and this one really makes me crazy. Not only is it useless for passing a drug test, you can actually cause permanent damage to your liver if you overdose on it. Which isn’t that hard to do when you’re taking like 100 times or more the recommended daily dose. I’m pretty sure this one got started from a book written by L. Ron Hubbard (the Scientology founder) years ago, about a purification/detoxification program he came up with for drug addicts. I’m not saying niacin isn’t an important vitamin, but Hubbard thought it could basically save the world. But uh, last I checked the guy didn’t have any degrees in medicine or nutrition, so his advice is based on opinion, not fact. And then there’s that whole Scientology thing. That’s all I’ll say about that…
And then there are other miracle cures: cranberry juice (diuretic, just makes you pee more), vinegar (changes the PH of your urine), etc. etc. etc. You get the idea. Believe me, I know how overwhelming it is when you see how much different information there is on the net about how to pass a drug test. You’d think it’d be easy to find out, but man, it is not. In the end it’s an entirely personal decision, but when it comes to specifically how to pass a urine test, I hope I’ve at least given you some food for thought. I’m not saying there’s not good information out there, but before you choose a method to go with just take everything you read with a grain of salt, verify your sources, and above all, ask lots of questions.
Beating Saliva Drug Tests
Posted by at 25th May, 2008
Beating saliva drug tests is by far the easiest of all, so there’s really no excuse for not passing them. But I have a sad story about someone who managed to fail one anyway, and I decided that it’s a good cautionary tale that I should share here. It was a situation that could have been avoided SO easily - if this guy had just taken beating saliva drug tests more seriously.
This all happened a couple of months ago. Ryan bought my ebook on a Monday, and he had a pre-employment drug test coming up on Thursday that same week. The reason I know this is because he emailed me on that Monday with a question after he read the ebook.
Turns out he was having a combination drug test and physical, and he needed some advice. Ryan’s lab appointment was for 8 a.m. on Thursday, and he said that the instructions he was given said for him not to eat or drink anything after 10 p.m. the night before, except for water, plain coffee or plain tea. For some reason (I have no idea why) this made him absolutely certain that he was going to be given a urine test, and he wanted to know if I thought the lab would be able to tell if he took the ingredients I recommend for how to pass a urine test. He didn’t mention anything about beating saliva drug tests, and they obviously weren’t on his mind at all.
Now, before this happened I had only heard of someone being told not to eat before coming in for a drug test – I’d never actually met someone who was told this, because it’s pretty rare. From everything I know about how to pass a drug test (which is a lot), there’s no hard evidence that what you eat makes a bit of difference in any drug test method. But knowing what I know about how the different tests work, common sense told me that the only possible test it might be required for would be a mouth swab.
So I emailed Ryan back right away and I told him that although I didn’t have any direct knowledge of this requirement, I was 99% certain that he needed to follow the method I give for beating saliva drug tests. I also told him he could use the instructions for how to pass a urine test at the same time if it would make him feel more confident about being prepared (I just had a feeling he was stuck on this idea). But since it is SO EASY to pass a saliva test, I really tried to get across to him that he needed to be prepared for one. (And I also reassured him that it is impossible for labs to detect when someone uses the methods I give, so he didn’t need to worry about that.)
Well, you can probably already see where this is going. Yup, sure enough, he was given a saliva test - which he hadn’t done any preparation for AT ALL - and he failed the test. I don’t know why he didn’t take my advice. False confidence? Maybe a touch of laziness? He sent me another email after he got his test results and admitted that he was a complete idiot for not listening to me. But this is one time when I really would have preferred to be wrong, because he missed out on a really good job as a result of all this.
So, long story short, Ryan and I kept in touch and fortunately things did eventually work out for him I’m happy to say. He finally got another job offer about a week ago, AND he had to pass another drug test. But this time they told him upfront that he was getting a piss test, so he followed the instructions in my e-book about urine tests (again) and passed with no problems at all. He sounds pretty happy with the job he ended up with, but I don’t think he’d want to go through all that grief again if he had it to do over.
So what’s the moral of poor Ryan’s story? Just that even if how to pass a drug test is really easy, you MUST take them seriously, folks. You and I know that it’s complete insanity for people to be wigged out about the humble weed, but the fact is that there are a lot of insane people who pull the strings and decide who gets hired and who gets to keep their job. And like I said before - this sooo did not have to happen, because beating saliva drug tests is so frikin’ easy.
p.s. By the way - if a lab ever gives you instructions not to eat for hours and hours before you go in for a drug test, JUST IGNORE THEM. They’re only asking because they want to get the most accurate results possible. So if your goal is beating saliva drug tests, why help the lab? ;-)
Tips On Passing a Drug Test
Posted by at 22nd January, 2008
Tips on passing a drug test are everywhere on the Internet - so how come so many people still manage to fail their drug tests? I think it’s partly information overload, from all the companies trying to sell so-called ‘detox’ products. They have to scare people into buying their products, so they put out a lot of bogus tips on passing a drug test to do it.
Just go hang out on any pot forum. You’ll find plenty of posts made by people who used a commercial detox drink to pass a urine drug test, and failed. Sure, some do pass, but the point is they’re not reliable. Unless you have some idea of how they work, and what testing labs are looking for, you just never know for sure if you’re going to be one of the lucky ones.
But if you do have a clue about how drug tests work, then your chances of passing with a detox drink go way up. Have you ever read the instructions that come with one of them? Every single one tells you to drink tons of water along with it. So here’s one of the most important tips on passing a drug test you’re gonna find: among all the ways to pass a drug test you can read about, just plain old dilution is the only one that works for a urine test. And the detox drink makers know this.
So if they know dilution is the only way to pass a drug test, you might be wondering what exactly it is that they’re selling. AH, good question. Well they know, just as you probably already do too, that dilution by itself is a big red flag to testing labs (and is often an automatic fail). So you’ve got to put a few things BACK into your urine to get around this, so the labs can’t tell you’ve been diluting.
This is where the detox companies try to fool you into thinking they’ve got some super secret formula that makes them the authority on how to pass a drug test. But the fact is, they use the same exact ingredients that are used in the much cheaper ‘home remedies’ that they try to scare you away from using. Just remember that the next time you’re reading their tips on passing a drug test. It’s all just smoke and mirrors, and one big marketing tactic.
It’s not that marijuana detox drinks never work, because sometimes they do. My complaint with them is that in the interests of getting you to hand over big wads of cash, they withhold valuable information that would make their products a lot more effective for you, the person whose life will actually be affected if you fail your test.
But even if detox drinks were a lot more reliable, one of my first tips on passing a drug test would be NOT to buy one. Not when you can make a better detox drink for a fraction of the cost.
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