Drug testing urine is pretty common nowadays, but that doesn’t mean you ever get used to it. Even though I’ve got the process down and am always pretty confident I’ll pass (and so far I always have), I’m still always a tiny bit nervous until I get those final results back from the lab. Which brings me to the topic of this post… which is that, regardless of how commonplace drug testing urine has gotten to be, you should treat EVERY drug test you take like it’s your very first time if you really want to pass.

Drug Testing Urine – Don’t Get Lazy!

The reason I bring this up is because I’ve known more than one person who didn’t pass a urine test just because they got kind of lazy, frankly. YES, it’s a pain in the butt to dilute before you go to your appointment. You have to drink a hell of a lot of water (which can be uncomfortable, to say the least), and you have to keep track of taking a bunch of supplements for covering up your dilution, yada, yada, yada. But you know what? If you really want to pass a piss test, you just gotta suck it up and do it.

Pretty much everyone is so freaked out and paranoid before we take our very first drug test, that we take every single thing about it dead serious. The problem is, once you successfully pass a drug test it’s easy to start thinking, “Hey, that wasn’t so bad after all. So what’s the big deal?” Well let me tell ya, that is dangerous thinking – because when labs are drug testing urine, they take each and every test REAL serious so you’d better too. If you start cutting corners when you dilute, thinking that you can get away with not doing this thing or that, then you’re playing with fire, man.

What Labs Are Looking For When Drug Testing Urine

Probably the most important advice I have for anyone who has a drug test coming up is to TEST YOURSELF AT HOME before walking into the lab. You can find home test strips for a few bucks each at most major pharmacies, and investing in two or three of them is pretty cheap insurance considering what’s at stake.

And if you’re really desperate to pass a drug test, you might want to also buy a specimen validity test. Those will set you back twenty to thirty bucks, but if you have the money just shut your eyes and do it. Because when a lab is drug testing urine, they aren’t just looking at whether or not you test negative for THC metabolites. They’re also looking for evidence to see if you diluted. If you’re doing a trial run at home first (which I HIGHLY recommend that you do), then a specimen validity test will let you know if you’re doing it right so that the lab won’t flag you for dilution.

Passing a Urine Drug Test Is Totally Do-Able

Bottom line, even though preparing for a drug test can be a hassle, it’s all worth it if you pay attention to each step and do it right. The hassle is nothing compared to losing your job, not being able to get a job, or especially failing a probation test. Big Brother’s drug testing urine isn’t going to go away anytime soon, but with some serious due diligence it doesn’t have to have a major impact on your life.

Myths About How to Pass a Drug Test for Marijuana

There are lots of popular home remedies passed around by very well meaning, but also very misinformed, pot heads. Including cranberry juice, Certo (also known as Sure-Jell), and niacin. You can find some facts about home remedies here.

One of the most prevalent myths about passing a drug test is that you should drink tons of water for days or weeks before your test. The roots of this particular myth are actually grounded in reality (as most myths are), but the real facts about it have become distorted over time.

Possibly the biggest misconception about passing a urine test for marijuana is that you can get rid of THC metabolites by ‘detoxing’ your body – in other words, completely cleansing your body and getting back to square one. This misconception is constantly perpetuated by companies who want you to buy their detox products.

But in fact, because THC metabolites store themselves in your fat cells, the only genuine detoxification you could do would be to somehow lose a lot of weight (and fat) in a big hurry. Needless to say, not a very realistic plan. But if you’re in the position of needing to know how to pass a drug test for marijuana, don’t be discouraged by these facts!

How to Pass a Drug Test for Marijuana – What Does Work?

Hands down, plain old dilution is the MOST effective method for how to pass a drug test for marijuana. But the big problem with it is that most smokers don’t understand exactly how to do it, and more importantly they don’t know how to hide it from the drug testing labs.

Dilution does NOT mean drinking lots of water daily for a long period of time, and it also doesn’t mean adding water to your urine sample during your drug test. For passing a urine test, dilution means drinking enough water in a very short time span to overload your kidneys with fluids. When this happens, your kidneys are temporarily unable to filter the toxins in your body (including THC metabolites).

To put it another way, your urine becomes so diluted  by all the fluids you drank that the metabolite levels are too low to even measure, and voila – you test negative. But this also means that your urine won’t contain any of the elements that it’s supposed to have (including color!), which is the big red flag to testing labs that you’ve deliberately diluted and are trying to beat your drug test. Any serious discussion about how to pass a drug test for marijuana, by using dilution, isn’t complete without information about how to get around this problem.

How to Pass a Drug Test for Marijuana and Get On With Your Life

In order to pass a urine drug test for marijuana, you need to be aware that testing negative is only half the battle – you also need to pass the ‘tampering test.’ There can be NO evidence that you deliberately tried to dilute your urine, or you could fail your drug test on the spot. But fortunately for you (and unfortunately for testing labs), there are some amazingly simple ways to hide dilution. I’ve done it myself many times now, and I’ve passed every single time.

How to pass a drug test for marijuana is serious business, but that doesn’t mean it’s a reason to panic. Go here to find out more about how to pass a drug test using dilution.

Urine Drug Tests – Why You Should Be Particularly Concerned About Them

While there are other forms of testing, the type that you will almost always face is a urine drug test. The process is very straightforward. Once your organization informs you that you need to submit to a drug test, you will have to visit a drug testing laboratory within their specific window of time. After submitting a sample of your urine to the laboratory, it will be checked for the presence of opiates, marijuana, methamphetamines, cocaine and amphetamines. Most every drug besides marijuana leaves your system within a few days to a week, so urine drug tests are of particular concern to pot smokers. Evidence of marijuana use can linger in your body for up to a month.

Once the laboratory has finished its analysis, your organization will receive a report showing whether you tested positive or negative for each substance. In some cases the lab will give you the results of your urine test before sharing them with your employer. If you fail your test for any reason, even if you have never used drugs in your life, be warned that you face an uphill battle proving your innocence.

Detection Periods For Urine Drug Tests

When faced with a drug test, many people first try to figure out how long marijuana stays in your system, and how long they need to stay clean. Although a quick Google search will return tens of thousands of websites with detection time tables, every single one is simply an estimate. Factors such as usage frequency and the composition of your body all play a role in the length of the detection period. This means your detection period could be significantly different from someone else in a similar situation. No two people will be exactly alike when it comes to figuring out whether or not you’re clean enough to pass a urine drug test.

The only 100% guaranteed way to pass a urine drug test is with some form of substitution. You can either substitute with the urine of someone you know (as long as you know they’re clean), or you can use real powdered urine. Of course, substitution is difficult if your drug test is supervised, but for some people it’s worth the risk. After substitution, the next most reliable way to pass a drug test is dilution. Dilution involves drinking a large volume of water on the day of your test, and then taking supplements that will hide the fact that you’re diluting from the lab. If done properly dilution has a success rate of around 99%, so it is still considered very reliable.

The Last Resort for Passing a Urine Drug Test

There are also many commercial detox drinks on the market that are touted to help someone pass a drug test. Their effectiveness rate is much lower than either substitution or the home dilution method, although some people swear by them. The bottom line is that if you need to pass a urine drug test, examine all your options and then make the choice that seems right for your situation.

The information you’ll find on this website is specifically for pot smokers, and it all got started when I had to start taking drug tests at my place of employment. What I’ve learned about how to pass a drug test has been a real eye-opener, to put it mildly. Probably the biggest shock is how much money we smokers spend (millions!!) on products that don’t even have a chance in hell of actually working. Desperate people will take desperate measures, and the companies who sell detox products are counting on it.

There is no ONE detox method that will work for every kind of drug (regardless of any marketing hype you may have read), because different toxins are metabolized in our bodies in different ways. The method I recommend for passing a urine drug test for pot is dilution, but dilution probably won’t help you if you need to know how to pass a drug test for any other substance. For the detection times of drugs other than cannabis, see ‘Links to Useful Resources’ over in the sidebar area of this page.

First of all, how to pass a drug test can be broken down into four basic methods:

1) Detox products
2) Dilution
3) Synthetic urine or substitution
4) Natural detox

How to Pass a Urine Drug Test Using Detox Products

There are so many different detox products on the market for passing a drug test that it boggles the mind. But they can basically be broken down into two categories: detox kits and detox drinks.

A detox kit is how to pass a urine drug test only if you have some time before your test. Most companies selling these products advertise anywhere from 10 days to 30 days for the product to work. But if you’re a pretty light smoker and you have 30 days notice, then you’ll definitely be clean by the time you take your test anyway, so you should just save your money. On the other hand, if you’re a heavy smoker and you only have 10 days to plan, then a detox kit definitely won’t work for you in time.

On the other hand, if you have very little advance notice, then a detox drink can be a good method for how to pass a urine drug test in a hurry. The people who have the most success in passing a drug test with them are light to moderate smokers. Detox drinks are really just a convenient way to use the dilution method (see below). The drink itself contains ingredients to help mask the fact that you’re diluting, and the instructions that come with them tell you to drink lots of water along with the product. However, they’re not among the best ways to pass a drug test if you’re a heavy smoker, or if you happen to be overweight. For one thing, the amount of water that they recommend you drink is usually much too low for those situations. Also, some of them tell you that you’re safe for passing a drug test for up to 5 hours after you drink the product. You should NEVER take a detox drink that far ahead of your test – 1 to 2 hours before your test time is safest.

How to Pass a Urine Drug Test Using The Dilution Method

As I’ve already pointed out above, I’m partial to dilution when it comes to how to pass a drug test. Mainly because it can be adjusted to work for anyone, whether you’re a light smoker or a heavy smoker. If you’re a light to moderate smoker you might prefer the convenience of just going to a store and buying a detox drink. But for heavy smokers, your safest bet is to do it the old-fashioned way so that you can control the process.

Dilution is a very effective and affordable method for passing a drug test. The way it works is pretty simple – you just need to drink enough fluids so that your kidneys are overloaded to the point that your urine is completely diluted. When that happens, then there aren’t enough THC metabolites (or much of anything else one usually finds in urine, for that matter) present in your urine for it to register on a test.

Contrary to the misinformation that gets passed around, there is NO need to load up on extra water before the day of your test. Drinking lots of water everyday is good for your general health, but as far as how to pass a urine drug test goes, it’s a complete waste of time and effort. What IS effective is drinking enough water in a short time span (2-3 hours) so that your urine is as dilute as possible.

But diluted urine is very clear, and not the normal yellow color it’s supposed to be. Of course this is a red flag to drug testing labs, so you’ve got to take a few steps to make it appear normal. Taking between 50-100mg of a B-complex vitamin (specifically B-2) about an hour before your test will make your urine appear yellow again. You also want to make sure that your urine contains normal levels of a substance called creatinine (you can buy a supplement called ‘creatine monohydrate’ in just about any health store that will accomplish this). Most labs also test the density of your urine specimen. You can get detailed, step-by-step instructions on how to dilute properly in my e-book about passing a drug test.

And if you really want to make sure you know how to pass a urine drug test using the dilution method, I highly recommend buying drug test strips and doing a trial run before your real test. You can get the strips in major pharmacies (Wal-Mart is probably cheapest, if there’s one in your area) and sometimes in smoke shops, but they tend to be expensive there. If your recreational drug use is limited to just pot, then you’ll save money by getting single-panel strips instead of the 5-panel strips. If you have time to plan, the cheapest place I’ve found them on the Internet is on this website.

How to Pass a Urine Drug Test Using Substitution or Synthetic Urine

Substitution was one of the earliest ways to pass a drug test used by pot smokers. All you have to do is ask a friend for some of their (clean) pee, and then smuggle it into the lab. Sounds simple in theory, but it can be very risky since lab technicians will monitor you to try and prevent you doing this.

Just smuggling your sample into the lab is only part of passing a drug test this way. You also need to somehow keep it at body temperature, since that’s one of the first tests a lab will do. Cold pee = failed test, game over. But you can keep the sample at body temperature by securing it in a zip-loc bag to the inside of your upper thigh, or you can buy devices on the Internet that are specifically designed for this. Since a lab technician is usually close by to monitor you, you also want to make certain that the container you use doesn’t make any noise when you open it (no rubber bands or tape, etc.).

Using synthetic urine works the same as substitution, except that instead of using a friend’s pee, you’ll be smuggling in the synthetic pee. It can come in powder form (which you’ll have to mix with water) or in liquid (pre-mixed) form. Labs have tests they run to try to detect synthetic urine, but the companies who make it are constantly working at staying one step ahead of them. If you’re successful at the smuggling part, then the odds are high that the synthetic urine will pass.

Depending on the circumstances at the lab you’re going to, both substitution and using synthetic urine are among the riskiest ways to pass a drug test for most people. If you’re caught, any false positive arguments go out the window and you won’t get a chance for a re-take. So knowing how to pass a urine drug test this way definitely requires that you have some advance knowledge about how closely you’ll be monitored by a lab technician.

How to Pass a Urine Drug Test by Naturally Detoxing

If you know you’re going to be needing to take a drug test in the future, for example if you’re going to be looking for a new job, of course you can always just stop smoking altogether and wait until THC metabolites have left your body through natural means. A serious workout regimen to lose weight will hurry the process a little bit, since THC metabolites are stored in your fat cells. But this method is only how to pass a urine drug test if you’ve got plenty of time, really (and assuming you can handle being separated from mary jane for an extended period). Both of those complications makes this one of the hardest ways to pass a drug test for most folks.

If you’re an average weight person who is a very light pot smoker (maybe a bowl once a month), then you’ll be clean in just a matter of days, like less than a week. If you’re a once daily moderate smoker, give yourself 3-4 weeks to get clean, depending on your metabolism. And if you’re a heavy smoker (several times daily), or if you’re carrying some extra weight on your, then passing a drug test by naturally detoxing will generally be between 4-6 weeks. These are just ballpark figures though, because your individual metabolism has a huge influence here. But in general, the faster your metabolism is and the less body fat you have, the faster you’ll get clean.

Final Word of Advice on How to Pass a Urine Drug Test

Regardless of what method you choose to use, how to pass a drug test consists of knowing exactly what you’re going to do when you walk into the lab. This is one situation when the saying “knowledge is power” is especially true. People pass drug tests EVERY DAY, and there’s no reason why you can’t too if you take the time to do your homework beforehand. And one big benefit of being prepared is that it removes a huge amount of stress from the entire issue of how to pass a urine drug test.

Sometimes I feel like a preacher or something, I swear. But instead of getting up on a pulpit to rant about fire and brimstone and the wages of sin, I’m on a soapbox trying to get through to people that dilution is the only reliable way to pass a urine test. And instead of fighting Satan, my nemesis is a Mountain of Misinformation.

An Important Fact About Passing a Urine Test With Dilution

What about you? Have you heard about dilution and then just dismissed it as yet another weird theory about how to pass a urine test? Well, before you write it off, think about this: you know those detox drinks you can buy? That’s exactly how they work: DILUTION, plain and simple. Yes, I KNOW they claim to ‘cleanse’ your system, blah, blah, blah. But the harsh scientific reality is that you can’t detoxify your body to get rid of THC in a hurry – all you can do is temporarily detoxify your urine by flushing your kidneys with water. So the only thing detox drinks actually cleanse is your wallet, regardless of their marketing hype.

How Detox Drinks Work

When you read the directions on any commercial detox drink, every single one tells you to drink lots of water before drinking it. The reason why is because those companies know the truth – that dilution is the only way to pass a urine test in a hurry. But a good sales pitch can make common dirt sound like the answer to your prayers, so they have to make you believe that their products contain some secret potion that can miraculously wash THC out of your system. But the reality is that it’s the water you drink that temporarily ‘washes’ the THC out of your kidneys. All a detox drink does is provide you with the supplements you need in order to hide the fact that you’re diluting from the testing lab.

The Pros & Cons of Using a Detox Drink to Pass a Urine Test

Which isn’t to say that detox drinks never work, because they often do. The big problem with them is that they’re just not very reliable. They’re a one-size-fits-all solution for the average person, and because everyone’s metabolism is different, you just have no way of knowing in advance if you’re going to be average enough for them to work for you. In most cases you’re way better off just buying the same ingredients that are in those things and custom-making your own ‘detox drink’ at home. Every single ingredient in those drinks is something you can buy yourself in any health food store or major pharmacy.

Another good reason for making your own detox drink is that it gives you a chance to test yourself before taking your real test. With a commercial detox drink you don’t get a second chance, unless you buy a couple of them at fifty bucks or more a pop. Making your own happens to be a hell of a lot cheaper than buying a commercial drink, but I think for most people that’s not really a big consideration. After all, if you lose your job because you didn’t pass a urine test then it won’t really matter how much money you saved.

There’s information about how to make your own detox drink plastered all over this website, and a good place to start is by reading the tips in this post. But if you’re in a hurry and you just want it all in one place, then you might want to check out my ebook about how to pass a drug test.

But one damn good argument in favor of commercial detox drinks is that they’re just so easy. You drink lots of water and then chug down the bottle right before you go in for your urine test. Period, you’re done. If you pass, you just saved yourself some hassle. Making your own home brew means you have to buy the individual ingredients that will mask your dilution, and then you have to keep track of what you’re taking and how much water you’re drinking. So, some people just may not want to deal with it. I don’t recommend taking a chance on a commercial drink if you have a probation test, or if you absolutely, positively have to keep/get a job. But if failing your test wouldn’t be the end of the world, then I can see where someone might want to just get a commercial detox drink and be done with it. I’m so used to making my own brew now that I don’t have to think about it, but I think for some people it would just be too much of a hassle. I guess it just depends on your desperation level.

Home Remedies That Won’t Help You Pass a Urine Test

One thing I get asked about a lot is Sure-Jell, or Certo (same thing). Of all the home remedies out there about how to pass a drug test I think this is one of the most dangerous, because it actually does appear to work sometimes. But you know what? Whenever I’ve talked to someone that passed with Sure-Jell, every single person has told me that they also diluted. But most of the people I’ve talked to who used Sure-Jell didn’t pass, either because they didn’t dilute at all, or because they diluted too much and the testing lab failed them for it. If you’re thinking about using this method because someone you know passed with it, ask them to tell you exactly what steps they used. I bet you discover the same thing I did.

Another theory about how to pass a urine test that you’ve probably read about is taking huge amounts of niacin – and this one really makes me crazy. Not only is it useless for passing a drug test, you can actually cause permanent damage to your liver if you overdose on it. Which isn’t that hard to do when you’re taking like 100 times or more the recommended daily dose. This one got started years ago from a book written by the late L. Ron Hubbard (the founder of Scientology). The book was about a purification/detoxification program for drug addicts, among other things. I’m not saying niacin isn’t an important vitamin, but Hubbard thought it could basically cure cancer and save the world. But um, last I checked the guy never got any degrees in medicine or nutrition, so his advice is based on his opinion alone, not fact. And then there’s that whole Scientology thing. That’s all I’ll say about that…

And then there are other miracle cures: cranberry juice (diuretic, just makes you pee more), vinegar (changes the PH of your urine), etc. etc. etc. You get the idea. Believe me, I know it’s overwhelming when you see how much wildly different information there is on the net about how to pass a drug test. You’d think it’d be easy to find out, but man, it is not. In the end it comes down to an entirely personal decision, but when it comes to specifically how to pass a urine test, I hope I’ve at least given you some food for thought. I’m not saying there’s not good information out there, but before you choose a method to go with just take everything you read with a grain of salt, verify your sources, and above all, ask lots of questions.

(BTW: This post is about going through the urine drug test procedure. Go here if you’re looking for information on how to pass a urine test.)

A few first-timers have emailed me wanting to know more details about what to expect during a urine drug test. Although it’s impossible to tell you exactly since lab procedures vary somewhat, here’s a description of the “worst case scenario”, based on my own experience and what others have told me about their experiences. Knowing the gory details of how bad it might be may make it not seem so bad if the lab you go to is a little more laid back.

First off, some labs are more relaxed than others about how they collect your urine sample. Some are basically like, here’s a cup, there’s the bathroom, bring me back some pee. But if the lab you go to does it strictly by the book, it’s a pretty humiliating experience in a way. But hey, the whole IDEA of being tested is humiliating, so what’s one more humiliation to them, ‘eh?

Anyway, a by-the-book testing lab will have you remove all your clothing (and I do mean all) and put on a hospital type gown that’s open in the back. This is to try to prevent you from passing your drug test by substituting with someone else’s pee. I say ‘try’, because a few really determined people even manage to smuggle in a substitute under these conditions, but we’re talking majorly risky here. If you’ve got the guts to even try though, my hat’s off to ya.

After you’re buck-naked with this flimsy cotton gown on, a technician will take you into another room, which might be a restroom or it might just be a bare hospital type room if you’re a guy. Either way, the room is pretty bare to further prevent you any opportunities for tampering with your specimen, so there probably won’t even be a sink with running water. And in many cases the water in the toilet will be dyed blue, to prevent you from using it to try to dilute your specimen right in the cup.

The escort might actually observe you while you’re peeing into a vial, or else he or she will just be hovering nearby. Unless you know someone who’s already been at that particular lab before, this is why substitution is so risky. You need to know beforehand just how closely you’re going to be observed.

When you’re done peeing into the cup, you hand the vial over to the technician. The very first thing they do is ‘test its temperature’, usually right there on the spot. If it isn’t somewhere in the range of between like 92-100 degrees, it’s usually an automatic fail since they’ll know you substituted. But assuming you pass the temperature test, they let you go get your clothes back on at this point and you’re done for the day.

And then you wait… Depending on the lab, they may do the initial dip test right there and you’ll have your results before you leave. But usually you have to wait 24-48 hours, and in some cases they inform your employer first. That sucks, because then your life is in limbo for another couple of days or so (thank god the lab I go to does it right there on the spot). And in SOME cases it’s just a “no news is good news” situation. If your results are negative maybe no one will even tell you. In that case you either have to risk looking suspicious by asking, or just hold your breath until a reasonable length of time has passed and you can assume that it was negative. But if it’s positive, you’ll almost always know within a day or two.

Although I’ve done this enough times now and I’ve got my routine down so well that I don’t really worry, but still – it’s always a relief to get the final word. I think if you’re on probation and you’re getting tested, they pretty much always have you wait and you’ll get your results right away. I don’t know if this is always true, but so far everyone I’ve talked to who got tested for this reason has found out their results right away.

How to pass a urine test is really pretty easy. And the satisfaction I feel each time I fool those idiots helps me forget the humiliation of it all. :-)

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