A saliva drug test is a lot easier to pass than any other kind of drug test, so there’s really no excuse for failing one. But I have a sad story about someone who managed to fail one anyway, and I think it’s a good cautionary tale. It was a situation that could have been avoided SO easily if this guy had just taken his saliva drug test more seriously.
Ryan’s Saliva Drug Test Fiasco
This all happened a couple of months ago, at the time I’m writing this. Ryan bought my e-book on a Monday, and he had a pre-employment drug test coming up on Thursday that same week. The reason I know this is because he emailed me on that Monday with a question after he finished reading the e-book.
Turns out he was having a combination drug test and physical. Ryan’s lab appointment was for 8 a.m. on Thursday, and he mentioned that the instructions he’d been given said for him not to eat or drink anything after 10 p.m. the night before, except for water, plain coffee or plain tea.
For some reason this made him absolutely certain that he was going to be given a piss test, and he had emailed to ask me some questions about that. In his email he didn’t mention anything about passing a saliva test, and I could tell it wasn’t on his mind at all.
Weird Saliva Test Requirement?
If you’re told not to eat or drink anything before going in for a physical, one where you know you’re going to be drug tested, it actually doesn’t have anything to do with the drug test. The reason they ask you to fast is because they want to test your blood sugar levels, which is a standard part of a physical.
So I emailed Ryan back right away and told him all this, and I said he shouldn’t assume they were going to give him a urine test. I also told him that he could prepare for a urine test AND a saliva test at the same time, since the two methods don’t interfere with each other in any way. It’s just so damn easy to pass a saliva test if you prepare for it, so I really tried to get across to him that he needed to be ready for either type of test.
One Situation Where You Won’t Be Given A Saliva Test
I knew Ryan was applying for a job at a private company, so I knew it could go either way. But there are certain types of employment situations where you can bank on getting urine tested.
If the company or organization you work for (or want to work for) receives federal funding, or if it’s regulated by the federal government, then urine tests are mandatory. You definitely won’t be getting a saliva test in those situations, because the federal government sets the rules (agencies like any state Dept. of Transportation are a good example). But private companies can use any testing method they want.
Saliva Test Horror Story…
Well, I guess Ryan just didn’t believe me for some reason, and sure enough, he was given a saliva drug test – which he hadn’t done any preparation for AT ALL – and he failed his test.
I have no idea why he didn’t take my advice. False confidence? Maybe a touch of laziness? He sent me another email after he got his test results and admitted that he was a complete idiot for not listening to me. But this is one time when I really would have preferred to be wrong, because he missed out on a really good job as a result.
So, long story short, Ryan and I kept in touch and fortunately things did eventually work out for him, I’m happy to say. He finally got another job offer about a week ago, AND he had to pass another drug test. But this time they told him upfront that he was getting a urine test, so he followed the instructions in my e-book for that (again) and passed with no problem. He sounds pretty happy with the job he ended up with, but I don’t think he’d want to go through all that grief again if he had it to do over.
So what’s the moral of poor Ryan’s story? Just that even if passing a saliva drug test is really easy, you MUST take them seriously, folks.
You and I know that it’s complete insanity for employers to be wigged out about the humble weed. But the fact is, there are a lot of insane people who pull the strings and decide who gets hired and who gets to keep their job. And like I said before – a saliva drug test is so freakin’ easy to pass if you just prepare for it.
Consider Using A Home Test Kit
If you’re really paranoid about failing your test and you want to be 100% sure you’ll pass, then you might want to pick up a home saliva test kit. Do a trial run at home, and then just test yourself to make sure you pass.
The peace of mind alone makes the cost of a test kit worth it to some people, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to save a few bucks. Saliva test kits are around $25 (or more) if you buy them from a drugstore. If you have the time, you’ll save a chunk of change if you order a test kit online. Meditest charges fair prices and they have very reliable shipping. I’ve used them for several years without any problems at all.
Bottom line, saliva tests are easy to pass IF you prepare for them. People who manage to pass easily without doing anything at all are lucky, and yes, it does happen fairly often. But being too over-confident could really screw up your life, because not everyone is that lucky. And now that you know how easy it is to pass saliva tests, there’s no excuse for failing…
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